TIME and BALANCE

Time is such a funny thing.  The older I get, or maybe the more kids I have... the faster time goes.  I feel like our days just fly by and before I know it another year has passed. 
In just a little over a month Cora and Kale will be 1year old!  It just doesn't seem possible.  Crawling, scooching, trying to walk, and babbling.  It just shouldn't be yet. They should still be my little cuddly babies who need nothing more than rocking, cuddling and nursing.  Now, they have much better things to do then sit and rock and cuddle and nurse. 
In 6 weeks Paige will be in Kindergarten.  This just doesn't seem possible. I talk to friends with teenagers and I can't imagine that we will ever be at that point, but I am so sure we will before I know it.  Sooner than I am probably ready.
Camden is flying around a bicycle with no training wheels like he is 12 years old.  He should still be my little guy just starting to take his first little steps.
As I think about how quickly time seems to go and how fast my kids are growing it makes me so thankful that I can be at home with them. It has come with sacrifices and lots of careful budgeting and strategic grocery shopping and activity planning and lots of garage saling.  But, oh so worth it to me to be there each and every day.  I know that not everyone can be blessed to be able to stay at home but I am so grateful that we are able to make it work.  Sometimes I have a little bit of guilt because I get to have so much fun in my day while Jed has to go to work everyday to provide for us.  Sometimes I also wish that I could go to work, to get a little break or that someone would put me in timeout (1 minute for each year old I am). 29 minutes where no one could talk to me or touch me.
I struggle daily with having enough patience, enough time.  Enough time for each of my kids. Paige wants to do projects and color and listen to book after book after book. Camden wants to play baseball and then basketball and then go on another bike ride.  Kale and Cora just require a lot of attention, both are mobile and get into everything.  I struggle to have enough energy to give all that my kids need, have our house look somewhat presentable, preparing meals and snacks, and possibly shower and have some kind of a conversation with Jed.  We watched a movie "dolphin tale" and the little girl in the movie lost her mom.  Camden was asking me about that and I explained that she got sick and died and went to heaven.  He then says, "how does she eat if her mommy died noone will make her food."  I reassured him that in that case the daddy will learn how to make food.
I think I have probably rambled enough and will not be proof reading this post before posting so if it makes no sense, my apologies:)